Telling two sides of the same story

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The other day a woman asked me if Janet and I were opposites. You know, like the saying “opposites attract.”

Well, I can tell you, that lady hit the nail on the head. We are as different as night and day, even when we were growing up. Now, I didn’t know Janet when she was a little girl, but she’s told me enough about it that I’ve got a good idea of what it was like.

In fact, if she had written a diary about what she did during the day, and I had written a diary…..well, this is probably what they would have read like.

Dear Diary: Today was a beautiful day. I picked flowers and put them in a vase and gave them to my best friend Karen. Janet

Dear Diary: Today was great. The sticker burrs are finally here. I grabbed a big purple bunch and threw them at Coy and stuck them right between his shoulder blades. Rusty

Dear Diary: I found a cute little puppy that was sick, and I took care of him. He is feeling much better. Janet

Dear Diary: Me and Coy found a dead raccoon on the road. He was still warm, so we hooked him up to some jumper cables to see if we could bring him back to life. You know, like in Frankenstein. Didn’t work. I sure hope the feeling in my hand comes back soon. Note to self: Next time, let go of the raccoon before Coy sticks the juice to him. Rusty

Dear Diary: Today I made a new dress for my Barbie doll. It is real pretty. Janet

Dear Diary: Today I took the dress off of my sister’s Barbie doll. WOW! Rusty

Dear Diary: Today my best friend Karen and I had a tea party and had a wonderful time. Janet

Dear Diary: Today, me and Coy smoked some grapevine. It burned the dog out of my tongue. Rusty

Dear Diary: I’m not feeling too well today. I think I ate too many cookies yesterday at the tea party. Janet

Dear Diary: That grapevine we smoked turned out to be Poison Ivy. My lips are the size of hot links. Rusty

Dear Diary: The new boy at school today smiled at me. I smiled back. I think he likes me. Janet

Dear Diary: I was hanging upside down from the monkey bars at school showing out for the new girl. I fell down and landed on my head. She pointed at me and laughed. I think she likes me. Rusty

Dear Diary: I accidentally belched in the lunchroom today. I was so embarrassed. Janet

Dear Diary: I burped the alphabet today in Show and Tell. I got all the way to the letter “L” before Mrs. Paine drug me to the office. Nobody around here appreciates real talent. Rusty

Dear Diary: My dog Jimbo is the smartest dog in the world. I taught him how to sit up today. Janet

Dear Diary: We tied the wagon to my dog, Sarge, today. We put Whee Whoa in the back and popped Sarge on the rear end with a whip. We haven’t seen Sarge, Whee Whoa, or the wagon since. Rusty

Dear Diary: My allergies have been acting up badly today. My poor nose is sore from all the tissue I’ve had to use. Janet

Dear Diary: Today I picked the biggest booger you ever saw. Coy thinks it may be a world record. I wonder who I need to show it to so I get in the books. Rusty

Dear Diary: I was punished today for talking back. I had to stay in my room for a whole hour. Janet

Dear Diary: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to sit down again. I’ve learned my lesson though. Don’t ever show a booger to your mom when she’s having a luncheon party, even if it is a world record. Rusty

Dear Diary: I met a boy today who shows off all the time. He has no manners. He’s funny looking. But, he makes me laugh. I bet I could mold him into something worthwhile. His name is Rusty. Janet

Dear Diary: Wow! I met the girl I’m gonna marry. Boy howdy, is she pretty. She’s a little prissy, but I can change that. Her name is Janet. Rusty

Dear Diary: People don’t change after you marry them. Janet and Rusty

And the rest is history.

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